Sunday
- June 2, 2013
Aaron Campbell
Indian
Ocean Tsunami 2004 - over 230,000 deaths from massive movements of rock and
ocean floor
WWII
- over 60 million war related deaths, initiated by the moving of the tongue of
one man - Adolf Hitler
The tongue is such a small part of our bodies, yet it wields an astonishing influence! Words have power - for great evil like Hitler’s or great good as well. What about our words? Do we ever really consider the weight and significance that our words carry?
Proverbs
12:18 says it this way: “There is one whose rash (reckless) words are like
sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
All of us have felt the sting of harsh words as well as been the one whose words have stung.
All of us have felt the sting of harsh words as well as been the one whose words have stung.
How are Jesus' disciples instructed in the wise use of their words?
Ephesians
4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is
good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who
hear.
Paul is writing to the Ephesian church about the need to "put off your old self" and "put on the new self, created after the likeness of God."
Put off: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths.”
Paul is writing to the Ephesian church about the need to "put off your old self" and "put on the new self, created after the likeness of God."
Put off: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths.”
The
word “Corrupting” is the same word used for rotting fruit and
decaying fish. Corrupting talk refers to speech that destroys and
tears down.
Speech
is not limited to the words that come out of our mouths. It includes
the words that we tap out on our keyboards and with
our thumbs. It includes what we post and comment on in Facebook
and Twitter and any other forum. Do we realize the weight our
words carry? Do we consider who we might alienate before we
click “send” or “post”? How is Jesus portrayed
through us? Are our non-Christian friends attracted to Him or
repelled by us in what we write? Does the friend of sinners and
tax-collectors and the downtrodden shine through in our communication more
than our political agendas and pet peeves? Do those that read our
comments see a love for the brethren - even as Andy talked about last week
- those we don’t agree with 100%.
Where
has my speech been corrupting or corrosive? Is there someone I need to
confess to and ask forgiveness of?
What
if I have been hurt by someone else's corrupting speech? This doesn't
make light of those offenses - in fact it is being addressed precisely because
such damage is real and needs to be dealt with. Am I able to forgive that
person? (It might be a real blessing to refresh yourself with Matt's
message on forgiveness that started this series.)
Put on: 29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Do
you hear the hope for all of us in this verse? The answer for those
who have used their words for harm in the past isn’t for them to shut
up. No, the call is to build up with our words
instead. We don’t need a perfect track record to be able to be
used by God in giving grace to others - to build up and benefit
others.
God knows what He’s getting when He is calling us to be His instruments of grace. He knows our failures and sins. He knows the damage we have done, the ways our words have hurt others in anger and bitterness, the bile that has spewed forth from the pit of Hell via our mouths. He knows the bad words that you have said, the gossip that you have slung, the complaints you have uttered, and the trash you have talked. He knows your past and your present - and just like He did to the woman caught in adultery - He calls you to “go and sin no more.” For her, that meant she had to go home to her family, she needed to live a new life of loving her husband. For us and our speech it means building up instead of tearing down, giving grace instead of corrupting.
This also means no one is exempt from the call to build up with our speech and give grace to one another. Those who have a track record of using speech sinfully are not exempted - no one is! Some of us desperately want to be exempt from needing to speak at all! We feel we don’t have enough Bible knowledge to speak intelligently, or we are afraid of saying something wrong, or don’t like the sound of our voice, or think no one will understand us through our thick accent! Some of us faithfully attend CG every week but never open our mouths because we think God hasn't given us anything to say. Or He gives us something to say to a neighbor or co-worker or family member - but we keep our mouths shut because we feel inadequate to say what needs to be said.
“Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and prove it” and “even a fool is thought wise if he keeps his mouth shut” were my personal mottoes growing up.
Some of it I think is a wonderful element of temperament and personality where God helps me to be quick to listen and slow to speak, so that I can really hear what others are saying. And some of it is a sinful fear of man. Some of it is just laziness.
Convictions that have helped change arena of speech:
God knows what He’s getting when He is calling us to be His instruments of grace. He knows our failures and sins. He knows the damage we have done, the ways our words have hurt others in anger and bitterness, the bile that has spewed forth from the pit of Hell via our mouths. He knows the bad words that you have said, the gossip that you have slung, the complaints you have uttered, and the trash you have talked. He knows your past and your present - and just like He did to the woman caught in adultery - He calls you to “go and sin no more.” For her, that meant she had to go home to her family, she needed to live a new life of loving her husband. For us and our speech it means building up instead of tearing down, giving grace instead of corrupting.
This also means no one is exempt from the call to build up with our speech and give grace to one another. Those who have a track record of using speech sinfully are not exempted - no one is! Some of us desperately want to be exempt from needing to speak at all! We feel we don’t have enough Bible knowledge to speak intelligently, or we are afraid of saying something wrong, or don’t like the sound of our voice, or think no one will understand us through our thick accent! Some of us faithfully attend CG every week but never open our mouths because we think God hasn't given us anything to say. Or He gives us something to say to a neighbor or co-worker or family member - but we keep our mouths shut because we feel inadequate to say what needs to be said.
“Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and prove it” and “even a fool is thought wise if he keeps his mouth shut” were my personal mottoes growing up.
Some of it I think is a wonderful element of temperament and personality where God helps me to be quick to listen and slow to speak, so that I can really hear what others are saying. And some of it is a sinful fear of man. Some of it is just laziness.
Convictions that have helped change arena of speech:
The first conviction is that God really loves His people. That wasn't a new conviction, but it was one that I hadn't applied to this area of my life before. It is one that became foundational for everything else in my thinking about my speech. He loves His people so much that He calls us His bride. His bride that He laid His life down for to cleanse and redeem. His treasured possession that He has been wooing and pursuing since placing us in the garden, beyond the fall and our repeated rebellion, always looking forward to a fully redeemed new heavens and new earth where we will lovingly relate to Him forever without sin or stain or separation. But we’re not there yet. We’re still in this place of wooing and washing those that He loves and died to make His own.
The second conviction is that God is a communicating God, He is a speaking God. More than just speaking the world into existence and calming the storms with His voice He spoke THIS BOOK by His Spirit so that His people - whom He loves - would have a record of His love and pursuit of us. So that we don’t have to wonder how He feels about us today, because He has declared here how He feels about us for all of eternity and what He has done in space and time to make that eternity a reality. God loves His people and communicates His love to us through His Word.
The third conviction, from passages like this, is that God chooses to communicate His love and His Word to His people through His people. God uses US to build up, US to give grace. This is where the rubber meets the road. God could have chosen any way He wanted to minister to His people, but He chose us.
He has chosen the way to bring Himself the most glory. A way in which mouths that have continually cursed God and others year after year are transformed into ones that sing His praises, and tell of His wonders. Tongues that once tore down with hateful sarcasm are transformed to ones that encourage the fainthearted and speak words of healing to the broken. He has chosen a way that doesn't primarily employ the tongues of angels and seraphim but instead the slow of speech, the self-conscious, and the meek. From causing us to speak His grace to one another God will receive much glory! For He delights to use the weak and foolish things of this world to showcase Himself. As 2 Corinthians 4:7 says, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”
One final conviction is the reality that if God calls us He will equip us. It isn't about our wisdom or planning, but about Him communicating with someone He loves.
This passage isn't written to pastors, it's written to the whole church.
Remember:
He could have chosen any way He wanted to communicate - when the religious
leaders tried to have Jesus calm the commotion during His triumphant entry
into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, He replied that “if they were silent the
very stones would cry out!” And in the book of Numbers, God
used Balaam’s donkey to speak a warning to him.
He
could have chosen any means, but He has chosen us - the God who is able to
give speech to donkeys and voices to rocks is able to help you and me!
So how do we speak “such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear?”
How would your last conflict have gone differently if instead of pointing out to each other all the “should’s and ought to’s” we tend to place on each other, one of you - at one of the earlier signs things were going off the rails, expressed your love and commitment to your spouse or child? If you emphasized relationship over issues? If you reflected on God’s patience or kindness to you in the face of your bullheadedness? What if the next time you are impatient with your kids for the stupid thing they did, you confessed that to them and asked their forgiveness before getting to any of their offenses? What if we didn't wait for a conflict to talk to one another in these ways, but instead looked for ways to affirm relationship and marvel at the ever-present mercies of God all around us in our normal relating? What if different aspects of who God is and how He relates to us became part of regular communication?
Recognize that when it comes to our speech and giving grace to others, its out of the heart that the mouth speaks. We've got to be ingesting these realities if we are going to be able to give them to those around us. I’m not talking about memorizing a 1200 page systematic theology book! There isn't one of us here that couldn't benefit from simply pondering a basic statement like, “God loves His people” and considering as many ways as you can how that is true. Then looking for ways you see that in action as you go about your day and your week.
So how do we speak “such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear?”
How would your last conflict have gone differently if instead of pointing out to each other all the “should’s and ought to’s” we tend to place on each other, one of you - at one of the earlier signs things were going off the rails, expressed your love and commitment to your spouse or child? If you emphasized relationship over issues? If you reflected on God’s patience or kindness to you in the face of your bullheadedness? What if the next time you are impatient with your kids for the stupid thing they did, you confessed that to them and asked their forgiveness before getting to any of their offenses? What if we didn't wait for a conflict to talk to one another in these ways, but instead looked for ways to affirm relationship and marvel at the ever-present mercies of God all around us in our normal relating? What if different aspects of who God is and how He relates to us became part of regular communication?
Recognize that when it comes to our speech and giving grace to others, its out of the heart that the mouth speaks. We've got to be ingesting these realities if we are going to be able to give them to those around us. I’m not talking about memorizing a 1200 page systematic theology book! There isn't one of us here that couldn't benefit from simply pondering a basic statement like, “God loves His people” and considering as many ways as you can how that is true. Then looking for ways you see that in action as you go about your day and your week.
What
if when we came together for our care groups we had fresh reminders of that
truth on our lips - from our quiet time or how we saw it throughout the
day? Do you think that would build up? Do you think that
would give grace to those around you? Do you think that would
encourage the person who was struggling to see it for themselves that day, to
be reminded from God’s word of His unchanging declarations and
demonstrations of love? And if we as groups started looking for it
in each others lives, how helpful would that be? Don’t you find
it true that we can often be the last ones to see what God is doing in us or in
our families? We can tend to focus on the areas needing growth,
or the latest failure or frustration, but others can see what we are often
blind to - the steady progress and growth or way that God uses us that we
can just take for granted.
Would a community that related this way be a desirable thing
to be a part of? Do you see a need for our community to grow in
these ways, for your care group? Don’t wait for someone else to
start! Don’t assume your CGL is the person God wants to
initiate this on Wednesday, or that the other person you’re getting coffee with
tomorrow is thinking the same thing. If God is putting it on
your heart, you open your mouth. Let’s all commit to ensuring that
God’s use of rocks and donkeys won’t be necessary as long as we are
present!
Another way I think we can speak grace to each other is by helping each other see our common ground - how much we are in this together. None of us have arrived. We are all in a place of needing reminders of God’s love and care. Today I may be the remindER, but tomorrow I may be the remindEE. We relate to one another on common ground, as fellow sinners, sufferers, and beggars in need of a Savior.
Another way I think we can speak grace to each other is by helping each other see our common ground - how much we are in this together. None of us have arrived. We are all in a place of needing reminders of God’s love and care. Today I may be the remindER, but tomorrow I may be the remindEE. We relate to one another on common ground, as fellow sinners, sufferers, and beggars in need of a Savior.
I
think one of the greatest lies the enemy uses to keep us isolated and alone is
that our problems are unique. “No one will understand what I am
facing at home.” “If people learn what I am really like and the
ugliness of my thoughts and life, no one would talk to me
again.” “No one else’s family is like ours. No one
else is dealing with difficulties as serious as ours. No one here
can really help us because no one else has gone through what we are going
through.” Those are lies from the pit of Hell, and they are designed
to keep us from the help that is readily available in the people God has
surrounded us with. They are deceptions designed to keep us isolated
and without hope. I Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has
overtaken you that is not common to man.” Common to
man. Common to the men and women surrounding you this
morning and gathered with you in your CG. Anger, lust, bitterness,
pride, anxiousness, fear...our circumstances may look different from
situation to situation but we all face the same temptations, our failures and
shortcomings all have common roots.
And if the enemy succeeds at keeping us suffering in silence than we will never learn of and benefit from the others in our body whose marriages survived being on the brink of divorce, or that have learned to forgive following adultery, or made it past a nasty separation. We’ll never benefit from those who have weathered the storm of what seemed like certain financial ruin, or parents who have had their hearts broken by the rebellion of their children. We’ll never gain from someone else who has struggled with addiction and dependency and come out on the other side. Those struggling with assurance will question the validity of their salvation because they don’t know how common such struggles are. Ladies will stay trapped thinking they’re the only ones that were mistreated and abused years ago and need to continue to suffer in silence. Singles will think only they know what its like to wander in the wasteland of no suitable prospects. Teens will think getting really frustrated with their parents or have no idea what to do with the rest of their lives are unique issues to them...
We all have a back story! What if those in our midst currently caught in sin and struggling in silence really believed that they could come forward and confess their needs and ask for help because they were convinced that they wouldn't be judged if someone else knew the truth? What if we as a body didn't pretend this was a place where everyone behaves and has their act together but we recognize the reality that in this sense, the church should be a hospital - a place where the sick and broken are supposed to gather and receive help, where sinners are welcomed with open arms - after all, Jesus came for the sick not the healthy! Would your experience of fellowship look any different than it does now?
What if we didn't see our past as defining our present or our future, but found our greatest identity in relationship to our merciful God who has redeemed us from our sins and failures and greatest embarrassments? What if those of us with a past didn't hide those details in shame but gave testimony to them as trophies of God’s grace? Do you think that type of speaking and relating would build up? Do you think that would speak grace to those thinking they are the only ones who know what it is like to struggle in the way that they do? Do you think that would glorify the God of rocks and donkeys, who loves to use the foolish and weak and broken things of this world so that He can be seen more clearly?
Our
goal is to look like Jesus, but none of us are there yet. And in
this life, we are all going to look a lot more like each other than we do
like Him. May God help us to not act shocked at sin or sinners in
our midst but to help each other see we all stand on common ground - and
then marvel together in: what a Savior!
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
God is calling each of us to speak up - to build up those around us - giving grace to those who hear us. Because He loves His people - He’s chosen each of us to be instruments of that love to one another, and the world around us.
Words are powerful...So open your mouth and let Him use you!
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
God is calling each of us to speak up - to build up those around us - giving grace to those who hear us. Because He loves His people - He’s chosen each of us to be instruments of that love to one another, and the world around us.
Words are powerful...So open your mouth and let Him use you!
