Matthew 18:15-20
Matt Rawlings
06/30/13
Supposedly, after conquering Britain and surveying the field
of battle, Julius Caesar looked over the battlefield and declared “Veni, Vedi,
Vici” which means, “I came, I saw, I conquered”. It was an arrogant response
but Caesar did indeed conquer. And much of the way that western civilization
faces conflict is with the same mentality – when we experience conflict, our
goal is to survey the situation and then conquer or to dominate. We want to win
our own way. But Jesus gives us a different way, a different mentality to
approaching disagreement and conflict with our brothers and sisters.
"If
your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him
alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not
listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be
established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen
to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church,
let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you,
whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on
earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on
earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.
For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." (Matthew 18:15-20)
In verse 15, where the ESV says you have gained your
brother, the NIV and other translations say, “you have won your brother”. And the
goal in these verses is not to win a conflict but to win back your brother or
sister to a right relationship. The goal is restoration and rescue.
It needs to be said that these verses in Matthew 18 can be
intimidating to some. These verses can be used as a weapon by others. This
passage can be abused and misused and it has been abused and misused. At other
times, this passage has been neglected because it is seen as too difficult. And
approaching this passage, it is easy to miss a few things.
- · It is easy to think of this verse as optional – but it is a command from Jesus.
- · It is easy to think of this verse as not applying to us – but it applies to every brother and sister in Christ Jesus.
- · It is also very easy to miss the context in which Jesus gave this commandment. Because of this, it is easy to miss the spirit and intent of this commandment.
- · It is also easy to miss the fact that Jesus says He will be with us in carrying out these verses.
- · And it is easy to miss that the Father acts on behalf of His people.
But I believe that this scripture is here because God desires to use His people to restore
one another and He promises to help us and be with us in the process. And that is really the main thing I hope that
we see...
Main Idea: God
desires to use His people to restore one another and He promises to help us and
be with us in the process
A couple of chapters earlier, in Matthew 16, by the enabling
of the Holy Spirit, the apostle Peter declared that Jesus is the Christ, the
Son of the living God and Jesus, in response said, "And I tell you, you are Peter,
and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not
prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and
whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on
earth shall be loosed in heaven." (Matthew
16:18-19) Jesus singled Peter out and gave him the authority of
the keys of the kingdom of heaven. This probably didn’t escape the notice of
the disciples.
Then, in chapter 17, Jesus singles out Peter, James and John
and they go up onto a high mountain and Jesus is transfigured in front of them,
while the rest are left waiting. Later, at the end of Chapter 17, Jesus tells
them what is about to happen to Him – that He will be delivered into the hands
of men and that He would be killed and on the third day rise again. And it says
the disciples were greatly distressed.
"Then tax
collectors come up to Peter and ask if Jesus is going to pay the tax, so Peter
asks Jesus and Jesus tells him to go and cast a hook in the sea and the first
fish that comes up, open its mouth and you will find a shekel. The Jesus says, 'Take that and give it to them for me and for yourself.'"
(Matthew 17:27)
So, after Jesus asks Peter to speak for Him to the tax
collectors and in light of the fact that they are distressed about Jesus dying (and
they’ve noticed that Jesus has given Peter preferential treatment) the
disciples ask Jesus, “Who is the
greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And Jesus doesn’t answer them
directly but instead He takes a child and says...
"Truly,
I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter
the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest
in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives
me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it
would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and
to be drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:3-6)
Jesus says that what is important is not who is leading the disciples
on earth but that they all must become like little children. They all must be
equally humble like a child. They all must be careful not to cause any of their
fellow little ones to sin. All of them are like little, dependent children and
they should treat each other as such and remember that they too are little
children. They need to stop comparing themselves to each other and stop trying
to be better or greater than each other. And they need to make sure that they
don’t cause each other to sin and that they take sin very seriously themselves,
so that they don’t stumble.
After this, Jesus tells the
parable of the lost sheep and He drives home the point that they must have a
loving concern for the one who does stumble and loses their way. All of them
are called to go after their fellow little one if they stumble into sin and
care for them by seeking them to rescue them. And he ends the parable and says,
“So
it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones
should perish.” (Matthew 18:14)
As we approach the verses that are our main focus today, we
need to be careful that we see them in context. Jesus is saying that we are all
“little ones” and all of us need to come humbly and receive each other in His
name. We need to guard against trying to set ourselves up as better than
someone else. We need to guard against self-righteousness. And as little children,
we must be careful not to cause another little one to sin, while at the same
time watching ourselves and doing all we can to avoid sin.
Knowing we will sin and knowing it is not the Father's will
for any little one to perish, we are all to seek out the one who has gone
astray with the goal of rescue and restoration as a fellow little child of the
Father. This is the mindset we are to have when our brother or our sister sins
against us. We are to approach them with a spirit of gentleness & care, caution
& respect, urgency & gentleness, as if we were caring for a little
child or a sheep that went astray. And the first point that we will see from
these verses is simple, even if ti isnt always easy – the first point we need
to get is to
1. Go to our brother
or sister if they sin against us
Verse 15 says plainly, "If
your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him
alone." There will be times when our brothers and sisters – fellow
little children of our Father – sin against us. So, when we have those times
that we are sinned against, we are to go to them. We aren’t to separate from
them, or pull away from them, or ignore them, like we are all tempted to do. The
world pulls away, the world calls for punishment, the world ostracizes the
sinner and then makes the sin public.
In a court testimony recently, Paula Deen admitted to
using a racial slur in the 80’s when describing someone. How did the world
respond? Vengeance, public rebuke, and shunning. Books, her TV show, commercials,
and public appearances have been canceled. She claims to be repentant and has
said she is sorry. But whether she is guilty of racism or not isn’t the point,
but how she is being treated is evidence of how we are all prone to treat each
other. We are all prone to want to punish, to want to make someone pay. We are
prone to bad-mouth someone, to make their sin public – to warn others away from
the sinner. To condemn them.
We all have these temptations. But as little children of
our Heavenly Father, we aren’t to be characterized by this. We are to go to our
brother or sister first. Now – the context tells us that we must go humbly to
them, we must go gently, we must go in a spirit of restoration. And by the way,
notice it doesn’t say, your pastor or your caregroup leader or the most
spiritually mature person needs to go and tell them their fault. No – it says
you – all of you – all of us, as
fellow disciples, fellow little ones are to go. And we are to go and tell him
or her their fault. This isn’t an accusation – this is going to someone else
and explaining from Scripture how what they did was sinful.
My two year old doesn’t know sometimes when he is sinning
– he doesn’t realize it. But when we tell him “no” he gets this look on his
face – his brow gets furrowed, he looks down and looks away - as if maybe if I
can’t see his eyes, I won’t be able to see that he’s guilty. So, I have to gently
go to my two year old and show him that what he did was sinful and explain it
to him and instruct him carefully about his need for forgiveness and that he
needs to ask his sibling’s forgiveness. For all of our kids, we make an effort
as much as is possible when we are disciplining them, to explain why what they
did was sinful against not only the person they sinned against but how it was
sin against God. Then we go on to explain their need for God to forgive them
and then God’s great rescuing love to send Jesus to take our place and how
Jesus took all of our punishment and bore God’s wrath so we could trust in Him
and be forgiven and rescued. And so they don’t think they are somehow alone or
that we are better than them, we tell them how mom and dad need help too – mom
and dad need forgiveness and because we trust in Jesus we have been forgiven. And
even though we still mess up, God helps us learn to not sin. We go to our “little ones” this way.
This is the same kind of loving attitude we are to have
with one another – going gently, humbly, giving hope, not condemning but
showing them their fault, so that they learn and don’t stumble, so that they
can be reconciled. And it is important that we don’t skip over the words
“between you and him alone”. We aren’t called to go and tell our best friend
what the other person did to us. We aren’t called to go and get advice about
someone else’s sin first. We are to try to keep the matter private because we
want to protect them and care for their reputation – so we are to "go
between you and him alone." Now, there are times, when we may need
protection because the sin against us is physical or sexual and it is not wise
nor safe to go alone. But unless there are extenuating circumstances like this,
we need to go and tell them their fault privately.
As we show people their faults, we need to show them
their faults from the Word of God. This is because the only authority we have
as to whether something is sin or not is God’s Word. It is not our preference,
it is not whether we have been offended or not that is most important, it is
whether they are sinning against God or not and so the only authority we have
to call them to respond, is from God’s Word alone. The only authority I have as
your pastor and the only authority that you have over a fellow believer is the
authority of God’s Word and we all stand equally under the same authority of
God’s Word. So when we go, we go and show them their sin from the perspective
of God’s Word. And the second point we need to see from these verses is that
the goal is to rescue and restore.
2. The Goal
is to Rescue and Restore
The goal is not to make them see things your way, but to
get them to listen, so that they will respond. The verse says, "If he listens to you, you have gained your
brother." If someone else listens to hear and change, then mission
accomplished! It isn’t about making them pay. This isn’t coming to someone else
demanding some kind of vengeance or retribution. This is coming to someone else
so that they listen and then rejoicing like we’ve won the lottery, because God
used our little efforts and God is at work in our midst. And hopefully, we have
little mission accomplished moments like this all the time as part of our
normal everyday lives.
Listen – we need to not be intimidated by the idea of
helping a fellow little one be restored to right fellowship with our Daddy. And
because we are all little ones, we need to expect that all of us will need to
be lovingly confronted too. This is not an attitude that looks for sins in your
brother or sister. This isn’t talking about creating a culture of sin
inspection, where you are always on the lookout for someone else’s sin or where
you are looking to correct and confront continually. This is the attitude of a
community that has been transformed by the good news of Jesus Christ. This is
about little ones who have experienced God’s loving, rescuing grace and want
the same kind of grace for each other and who can’t wait to rejoice when God
works through a process like this. If we come with a superior attitude though,
the whole process will be fraught with self-righteousness and judgmental
attitudes and it will go terribly wrong.
We are to come like little children, and come like a
shepherd rescuing his lost sheep, recognizing we’re little children too and we
need rescuing too. Now, sometimes, it may take going and explaining and then
going back again until the person sees their sin from God’s Word. We need to be
patient and kind and tender with them. And I would say that as a pastor, the
overwhelming majority of the time, when people come to each other like this,
the result is that the brother or sister is won over – they are gained.
But, unfortunately, there are the more rare times when
someone doesn’t get it and the sin is clear from God’s Word – it isn’t just our
opinion and we need to bring one or two others in to help in the process. So,
the third point we need to see from this passage is that...
3. You may need to keep going to your brother or sister
The Scripture says, "But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that
every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses."
We can all be wrong. The goal is not to condemn the other person here. The
goal is to get godly counsel and wisdom. Go and get one or two others who know
God’s Word and can be as unbiased as possible to go and hear the matter and try
to help you discern whether your brother or sister was truly sinning. And if
they were, then the goal is for them to help call them back as little one and
help rescue them.
I used to rock climb many years ago and if you were
climbing in the lead – and someone behind you slipped, then ideally, the anchors
would hold them. And most of the time it would work as planned and you could help guide them back onto the
path. But sometimes, rarely, the protection that you
placed would give way and not hold. And if the anchors between you and them did
not hold – hopefully you would be able to lock your rope off and stop them and
be able to pull them back onto the rock because your anchors were solid. If it
is just two of you and this were to happen, there would still be a danger of
them falling if you weren’t able to help them and you both might fall if your
anchors didn’t hold and your footing wasn’t firm.
Now, imagine if this happened to you and your child – or
you and your brother or sister, or your best friend, out on the rocks. It would
be pretty scary. You would probably feel out of control if they slipped and the
protection didn’t work right away and they were dangling at the end of your
rope – with all that was between them and a certain fall was you and the rope
and your ability. You would probably be
worried for your brother’s safety and your own too, especially if you were having
a hard time holding them or if you had to hold them for too long. But if you
had one or two more people climbing with you, it would be much easier and much
safer for you and them both. There would be more anchors and more hands to help
get the fallen climber to safety.
It is the same idea in this verse. We are to take along one
or two others to help rescue the one who has slipped. Now, some practical
things can help this process . If you are really interested in helping the
other person and getting to the truth of God’s Word, don’t brief the people you
ask ahead of time and give them your perspective. You can just say, we are
having a hard time and we need you to help us both see what is true from God’s
Word. We need you to take a look at what has occurred. Assess the situation and
give your perspective on what God’s Word says about the situation. Then, I
would encourage you to tell your perspective in front of both the person who
sinned against you and the person you’ve brought. And then ask the person who
sinned against you to share their perspective and response. Then ask the third
party to help give council and adjudicate between you. And what normally
happens is that through God’s Word, the Lord will make things clear for
everyone and bring conviction where necessary. And if your brother was sinning
and responds, you have gained your brother.
Most of the time – even if someone doesn’t see their sin
when one person comes to them, when one or two more are brought in – God uses
this to bring clarity, conviction, and restoration through His Word.
In the most rare of cases though, someone may refuse to
respond to God’s Word and the appeals of two or three. And it will be necessary
to tell it to the church.
Now – notice, Jesus doesn’t give us a strict timeframe
and He doesn’t tell us to only go to the other person one time. Jesus is giving
us principles of confrontation and reconciliation in the context of mutual
love, humility and tenderness, seeking to restore. So, we have to use wisdom in
carrying these principles out. It may take some time. People may be willing to
dialog with us before it is necessary to bring others in, even if they don’t
see their sin yet. Remember we need to
do everything we can like a shepherd seeking to rescue a sheep that’s gone
astray – there may be a lot of effort required. Then, our brother or sister may
need time to hear from other people and hear from God’s Word even more and
dialog and ask questions.
Scripture doesn’t say if they don’t immediately respond
after we confront them and after others confront them, then go and tell
everyone. It is only if they refuse to listen. Many times, there
isn’t a refusal to listen and hear. Many times we don’t see our own sin and it
takes time for us to see the truth. We need to be patient with each other and
allow time for this and help explain things and go back and talk to each other.
What is important is the desire or effort to see the sin, the desire to change
and whether there is openness to hearing.
This process could take a while – but the goal isn’t just
brute correction – the goal is to get our fellow sheep – our fellow “little
one” to see their sin so that they can be restored. And we should be waiting to
rejoice, hoping and praying and seeking God so that we might win our brother
and sister. This whole process for everyone involved should involve seeking clarity
from God’s Word, prayer, and an attitude of humility and love. But, there are
the rare times, when one of us will go so astray. We can be confused and we
become lost and after multiple appeals, it becomes necessary to broaden the
circle and to tell it to the church.
Now, it is important to note that the formal church had
not yet come about and that the word for church at the time carried the
connotation of a specific, gathered community of disciples, who God had
gathered together. In our context, the gathered community may look different. Telling
it to the church for the church to hear about their sin and make further
appeals in our context may mean letting their small group know, or making the
people who know them be aware of their sin with the goal of approaching them
and seeking to restore them. All along – the whole process – the goal is
restoration and it is to be done lovingly, humbly, and gently. But at some
point, in the broadening of things beyond the one or two and after broadening
it to the gathered community of disciples, it may be necessary to let the whole
church know, depending on the scope of their sin, the effects of their sin, the
severity of their sin and if they continue to not listen and rebelliously
refuse to listen to the church.
So, in verse 17, it says in these cases, "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to
the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you
as a Gentile and a tax collector." If someone has gone so far astray
that they refuse to listen to the church, we are to let that person be to us as
a Gentile and a tax collector.
Now, most of us in this room are all gentiles, so what
does that mean? And does treating them like a tax collector mean treating them
like an accountant or like an IRS agent? No. What this means is treating them
like an unbeliever, like someone who is very wayward. It means making appeals
to them, so that the foremost thing in our relationship is for them to be made
right with God. It means that we don’t have them participate in close
fellowship and act like they are a fellow believer anymore. We change the way
that we relate to them, to be on a mission to make them disciples of Jesus. In
the same way we can’t have deep and meaningful fellowship with those outside of
God’s family, we aren’t to pretend to have normal fellowship with someone who
is rebelliously refusing to repent from clear commands in God’s Scripture after
the church appealing to them.
Now, let me be clear – this is not someone failing to see
our preferences or someone differing on matters of conscience or matters of
opinion. This is when someone is clearly disobeying the direct commands and
teaching of Scripture. This is not someone going to a movie we don’t like or
dressing in a way we don’t prefer. This isn’t about someone having a cigar or
listening to music that we don’t like or that we think isn’t good. Now – we can
dialog and make appeals and discuss things like this with each other – but this
is not the kind of sin that these verses are talking about.
If someone is engaged in sin against God and it is clear
from God’s Word, and someone is refusing to listen to God’s Word through you
and others and through the gathered assembly – presuming you all see the sin
clearly from God’s Word and you all agree – then there is a time to treat them
as an unbeliever. We need to interact with them – still lovingly – as we would someone
who is hardened by sin and outside of God’s family – but with an even more
focused goal of getting them to see their need for God.
This agreement of the church – this agreement about what
God’s Word says is the context of verses 18-20. Verse 18 says, "Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on
earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed
in heaven." If believers bind the conscience of another believer and
they loose or set free another believer on the basis of the clear teaching of
God’s Word, we can be confident that we have God’s will on the matter and that
we are reflecting what the spiritual reality is in heaven. The forth thing we
need to see in this passage is that...
4. We can
be confident in God’s help
Verse 19 says, "Again
I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be
done for them by my Father in heaven." Under the Old Covenant, the
teachers of the law taught that “if two sit together and words of the Law are
spoken between them, the Divine Presence rests between them". If two
believers agree on earth about anything regarding confronting a fellow little
one, Jesus says it will be done for them by Father in heaven.
This passage isn’t about asking God for anything we want
in prayer and if two of us agree, we will get it. It is about two believers
appealing to God for their fellow little one to be rescued and trusting God
will do it. It is about believers approaching God in prayer on behalf of
someone they are confronting and trusting that God will make things clear to
them and the other person. This “anything they ask” is any situation – any
matter like this – and it will be done for them by my Father in Heaven. This is
a remarkable verse – God will answer our prayers for help in all conflict
situations and God will do it.
Verse 20 gives us an even more wonderful, hope giving
promise. Jesus says, the reason you can be confident that whenever you forgive
someone and restore them or whenever you treat someone as an unbeliever that
you can be confident that God will be at work and that this process will work
and be for all of our good, is that, "For
where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."
The final point – the thing we need to see in these
verses that really gives us hope for this process, is not only does God promise
to work on our behalf.
5. Jesus
will be with us
We have a wonderful promise of Jesus Himself being with
us when we gather in His name. When we are sinned against and we go to confront
a fellow brother or sister, we can be confident that Jesus is with us both. He
is there among us. This gives us a sure foundation for fellowship with one
another. This should give us hope and confidence that Jesus will be at work in
our brother and sister’s life when we go to them to help rescue them from sin.
Jesus is in our midst when we approach another believer
and He will be with us every step of the way as we seek Him and His Word. This
should give us hope and caution both. It gives us hope that Jesus will make
things clear for us both. And a humility knowing that Jesus is here and we need
to conduct ourselves as fellow little ones, seeking to come to Jesus together.
Ultimately, this promise that Jesus is here among us, is
meant to give us great hope for redemption and restoration. That is what these
verses are all about. God desires
to use His people to restore one another and He promises to help us and be with
us in the process.
